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.memoirs of time

|youna.yoru| is currently working on an autobiography/non-fiction novel titled Memoirs of Time. The release date may be some time in the year 2080, considering the pace of her work at the moment. Please wait patiently! v^o^v
x...If I could turn back the time and change something in my life - something that I did or did not do, I would not know where to begin. Then again, some things may be better left unchanged. The price we have to pay ...for our actions. The guilt that stays with you for the rest of your life ...it will never cease. It will remain there always, as fresh as yesterday. The penalty of our selfish utilization of time, which despite what we may always wish, is
unavoidable ...
irreversible ...
unforgettable ... --------------------------

.archived.entries

Will You Be My Boyfriend ... - Wednesday, Sept. 06, 2006
memoirs of time - Monday, Sept. 04, 2006
version 4 - Monday, Sept. 04, 2006
p.a.t.h.e.t.i.c. - Saturday, Sept. 02, 2006
Nasty Nineteen! - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2006

.archived.blogs

Version 1: Saigo no Yume - featuring hot Saiyuki guys {layout by sayuki}
Version 2: Saigo no Yakusoku - featuring Genjyo Sanzo of Saiyuki {layout by rero}
Version 3: No Reason {layout by rero}

--------------------------

.scandalous.entries

p.a.t.h.e.t.i.c.
[ Saturday, Sept. 02, 2006 :: 9:33 PM ]

Listening to Kangta & Vanness - Scandal Reading Nana Current mood profoundly depressed

Last night was without doubt the worst night of my entire life. I just want to disappear. That was seriously how I felt - there was nothing else I could bring myself to do but drown my sorrows. I drank so much that I think I killed half of my liver. For the first time in my life ...I felt like I wanted to either die or disappear. Anything would've been fine. I could not believe this sort of sh*t could happen to me on my biggest night of the year. All I did after that was drink so much that I could barely stand straight, and cried and bawled my eyes out. I could not do ...anything else. I honestly felt like if I was drunk enough ...I would've just done anything to end that absolutely horrid feeling. Anything would be fine. Being sober brings back the stuffed up memories and the depression and the pain. I want to forget. And I just want to kill and destroy that person who took the camera that doesn't even belong to me and completely ruin one of the biggest social nights of my pathetic life. I don't even know what I've done to deserve this. Is this some sort of redemption, for my greed and stubbornness of wanting to be in this course so much that I put my family in such situation? If so, then that's it. I don't want this course, I don't want anything else that's good for me. I don't need anything good. I can just live my life as shitty as it has always been. I don't want financial problems, I don't want family problems, I f-ing hate money as it already is - I even hate fighting over it more. I don't care. I can just wallow and wither here I don't - need - money. Stop arguing about money, for f's sake! I hate it! It's the worst thing a person can do and it's f-ing pathetic to be blinded by stupid piece of shit paper that you would argue with someone you love about it!
There is no place left in this f*ed up world for me to be happy. To hell with being optimistic. What is the point of being so optimistic all the way, just to be shot down like a brainless bird when you've almost reached the top? I just want to forget everything.
'Good year for rabbits', my ass. I hate my life and I hate what I'm going through. I don't want to be a stupid pharmacist. I don't want to be a good girl, a good student, a good daughter trying to please my parents and trying to prove myself to everyone. The truth is, I don't give a flying F what they think. I don't want to pretend to be the person I am not. This is not who I am. I hate being a good girl, I hate pretending that I'm not a corrupted person.
I want to kill that person. I seriously do. That is who I am - I want to ruin the person who ruins me.
There is no such thing as forgiveness, to me.
There is only vengeance.

~princess was kissed @ 9:33 PM~

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Nasty Nineteen!
[ Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2006 :: 8:05 PM ]

Listening to Shinhwa - Midnight Girl Reading Hot Gimmick Current mood Neutral *.*"

Hmm ...I'm past the stages of Sweet Sixteen, Sexy Seventeen, Erotic Eighteen, and now I'm finally ...Nasty Nineteen. ^__^v I can't believe I'm so old~~~! This is the last year I'm gonna be able to put an adjective in front of my age! After this, it's that Terrible Twenties! T____T *sniffs* But my 19th birthday was pretty ecstatic ~ I got so many gifts that I could wear to the Pharmacy Ball =D My favorite is the gorgeous pearl necklace my sissy gave me and the tiara! Oh, not to mention the iPod nano my pharm friends got me! I'm being spoilt. It's a bad thing ...XD. Then again, I haven't been spoilt in a long time. I should be spoilt more. It makes me nicer. Hahaha ~~~ =P J/K!
Anyhoos, it's week 7 of Semester 2 already, omigod. -.- It feels like it was just yesterday that I did my Sem 1 exams ...arrrggghh!! Why does time fly? Soon enough, I'll be facing the boring exams.
Today, I saw HIM again. (HIM = P, therefore from this point onwards, I shall regard HIM as P) He's dyed his hair black, and he looks sooooo JROCK-style! *faints* I didn't think anyone could pull off that gothic/JRock look so well ...I thought he looked hot, but my friend thinks he looked worse. =_=" Is it me, or her who has the bad taste? Her, I think. My taste in guys is always good. v^.^v Anyway ...I still can't get over the fact that he already has a gf. What is with the guys I like having a gf who's not me?! It's like a curse or something.
I didn't even notice that he was standing there in the library today, until my friend pointed him out to me. I did a double take before I could recognize him. I don't know what it is, but every time I glance at him he seems to be looking back. And I'm pretty sure that I wasn't being that obvious when I look at him - which is not that often anyway since I only see him like once a month -__-". And even when I do look at him, it's like a split second thing. Every time our eyes meet (this sounds so corny but I couldn't think of anyway to place this gesture - and no, there was no electrical spark or whateverthingamabob) it's probably by chance or something, but I wonder if he recognizes me. O.o He's like, the first guy I noticed on campus who looked like I could really like ...but, unfortunately, he was also cursed, as with all my other crushes, and has a girlfriend who isn't me. She doesn't go to our university, which is a big relief since I wouldn't want to see any girl cuddling up to him and all that. It would be like, a samurai through my fragile heart. I found out last week that one of my high school friends knew P, and I was like ...=O omilord~~! So I dug out all sorts of information I could from him about P ...LOL nah I'm not that obsessed. I don't even like the idea of liking a guy who's not single, so I should probably move on to my next victi - I mean, hot guy.
Since I found out P wasn't single and available for moi, I turned my attention to someone else, T. He's in my year level, unlike P who's in 2nd year, so it's good because I get to check him out during lectures. The first time I noticed him was a very memorable event. It was on an unforgettable Monday morning. As usual, I went to Pharm Chem lec like two seconds late and there were no cool seats left (XD cool seats are those in the back where you can't be seen by the lecturer LOLs). And since the lecturer already started her droning, I really didn't want to parade down the lecture theater to sit at the front row because I'm pretty sure people would be turning and looking at me instead of the lecturer. It's a no-no. So, there I was, half-fuming, and suddenly I found an empty seat like in the far left corner ...and guess who was sitting next to that blessed empty seat? T. ^__^v Hahaha ...I didn't actually sit next to him at first, but then another girl came in and I had to happily move in closer to him for her to sit. Ahh, what an unforgettable moment. I wasn't even concentrating on the lecture. I was looking at his hands, and thinking to myself, 'He has nicer hands than I do'. And I was kind of lost in that thought for an hour.
Oh well, time flies. XD Anyways ...I noticed him around a lot lately, and it's partly thanks to the fact that he's always wearing green (I don't know why, maybe green is his favorite color, or maybe he's just trying to blend in with the environment) so he just stands out in the crowd.
ANYHOO! omg I'm supposed to be doing some work but instead I'm droning on and on here about guys ...*__* *whacks ownself with samurai sword* OK, I have to go and be serious since I haven't done crap ever since semester 2 began.
Jyane~~~!

xoxoxo
Princess

~princess was kissed @ 8:05 PM~

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New, but not so new ...
[ Sunday, Jul. 02, 2006 :: 5:25 PM ]

Listening to Destiny's Child - Stand Up For Love Reading John Grisham - The Broker Current mood sleepy ~_~ZzZz

Yay! I finally revamped my old, boring blog. Nothing new, though, I just stole the design off my other website =D. Since a certain SOMEBODY doesn't wanna make the layout for me! >.< I'm too lazy to make my own. I haven't installed any photoshop or whatever designing programs on my computer, so I can't be bothered starting now. Anyhoos, I think ima go out for a bit, even if it means walking next door to get a piece of gum. I'm going crazy staying at home! >_< Tata!~~

~princess was kissed @ 5:25 PM~

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Comune di Marene
[ Sunday, Jul. 02, 2006 :: 2:30 AM ]

Listening to Marc Cohn - One Safe Place Reading John Grisham - The Broker Current mood sleeping! (soon enough)

Fourth day. I'm almost there! Can't wait. Almost killed myself by scarfing down the gross sprouts. Know what I did? I dumped the whole container of sprouts into the pot, made it into soup, and then gulped it all down without breathing and sat there for what seemed like an eternity holding my stomach while trying not to barf. It's finished!! yay~~~!! I had brown rice again today. Actually, it wasn't as bad as when I had it the other day. Maybe I'm becoming a better cook. Or maybe I'm losing my special sense of taste.
Anyhoos! Did anyone bow to me today? I'm sure they did =D i mean, how could anyone not bow to me knowing that a town was named after ME? I mean, I sort of knew my name was Italian or Spanish, or maybe a word in one of the European languages ...which is weird because I thought my name was one-in-this-world since my dad made it up. So when I googled my name (it's out of boredom =D) i was pretty surprised to find out that a town in Italy was named after me! Eat your hearts out, my little commoners ~~

Comune di Marene
AND (read this!)
The TOWN of MARENE

Is my head getting bigger? =P That's pretty cool though. I think I should pay a little visit to my Marenesi (what a cool name for the inhabitants of my town!^__^) in Italy. You gotta check out the sites. It's actually not quite bad for a little town. =D Yay! Now I have a perfectly good excuse to visit Europe. I'm sure my dad will see it my way and even offer to give me Euros for my shopping spree there. I mean, it's not every day that you find out a town was named after you, right? =P

~princess was kissed @ 2:30 AM~

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Can't think of a good description ...
[ Friday, Jun. 30, 2006 :: 12:29 AM ]

Listening to Marc Cohn - One Safe Place (this is from one of House MD's episodes!) Reading John Grisham - The Broker Current mood feels like singing!

Too many things happened since my last entry. Didn't think I'd be back here so soon. Last six months of my last, summarized in one page of my blog. Depressing, really, if that's all that actually happened in my life. But I'm a mood person, which in my dictionary means that if I'm in the mood to do something, I could do it 24/7. But if I'm not ...well, that's a different story. Lots of things happened, but I kind of felt weird expressing it all to my computer ...and publishing on the www letting some random God-knows-who read about things that are going on in my life.

Lots of times when I wanna blog in here, I get stuck on what to write. Strange, considering that I should have plenty to write about since I haven't written in that long. Like now. I have no idea what to write. All I can think of is that I need a new layout. Maybe with the new layout I'd be more inspired to blog. Oh yes. I can talk about the detox program I'm on. It's dumb. No, it's not the detox program that's dumb, and it's not me, who decided to do the non-dumb detox program, who's dumb. It's the gross stuff that the stupid people recommend you to eat while on the detox program. Life works in such a funny, yet stupid way, seriously. How can something be called healthy food when it makes you wanna barf while eating it? I'm talking about the gross brown rice and abso-bloody-lutely GROSS sprouts that the thing recommended anyone doing the detox program to eat! Omg. Seriously. Healthy food should be something that you enjoy eating and feel satisfied after you eat it, not something that makes you wanna hurl and take away every last bit of appetite that you had. I still have to eat it, by the way. I have to hold my nose while forcing the gross so-UNhealthy-food down my throat. Eugh. You should really see the List of Foods to Eat While On Detox Program. You'd probably mistaken it for food that you give to a hamster or something. Sprouts, alfalfa (do you have any idea how gross this is? I hate it!!), and a bunch of other food that you might see a horse or a cow grazing on. And under List of Foods You Should Avoid While On Detox Program, it listed like just about everything that's edible. All kinds of meat, eggs, dairy products, salt, sugar, everything! Omigod. It's only the 2nd day, and I'm so ready to quit. I feel like I'm gonna die from overdose of the grossness of the horrid brown rice and absolutely yucky sprouts. Sure, it took my appetite away - that's a good thing. Makes me not wanna eat IT, but it also makes me crave for food that I never crave for, like chips! The only thing that I'll stick to eating during this detox program is fruits and vegetables - minus the SPROUTS. Yuck. I feel like hurling just thinking about it, and I still have to eat the rest of that gross stuff.
Gotta go.
Bye~! Hope I can write in here more before I OD on the 'healthy' food.

~princess was kissed @ 12:29 AM~

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-------------------------- ||x S.C.A.N.D.A.L x|| layout produced by |snow_sayuki| © 2006

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